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Post by susank on Jul 23, 2024 8:03:52 GMT -5
Saying Goodbye As If Time Mattered
The night before my mother died
I held her hand and told her again
We will care for each other. It’s ok
to let go. And if you are still here
tomorrow, I will see you
around 10. I watched her face
as the weak February sun
faded through the blinds
though she could no longer smile
or squeeze my fingers, even a little.
The stack of novels at her bedside
a reminder that she read aloud
till days before the end,
the same pages over and over.
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Post by bluebird on Jul 23, 2024 10:58:48 GMT -5
This is so touching in its simplicity. Because, really, when
all hope is gone, the leaving becomes as simple as you
so tenderly state it....your precision of words and the
brevity of observations and statements seems to reinforce
the narrowing of time. I loved the mention of the novels stacked
at her bedside. I had a friend who did the same thing....it
brings a sense of purpose as well as comfort to final days.
Also, I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I appreciate the sense
that the passage of time at farewells is inconsequential compared
to awareness and feelings.
Karen
p.s. I've enjoyed reading your work. Perhaps we will meet again
in another workshop.?
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Post by denise on Jul 24, 2024 17:46:57 GMT -5
Susan -- I'm sorry I couldn't participate actively in the discussion of your poem today. My family Uber duties summoned.
I found this poem extremely moving and loved hearing your personal story that inspired it. I didn't clearly hear the discussion on your title. For me, I wonder if simply "Saying Goodbye" or " Time Matters" might work? The couplets are a perfect form and the brevity of the poem, for me, added to its poignancy.
Your feedback throughout the session has been very instructive and much appreciated. Hope to see you in another workshop soon.
Best,
Denise
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Post by Gerry on Jul 25, 2024 11:05:02 GMT -5
Susan, all my comments on this lovely, quiet but haunting lyric I said in my discussion, but you can see them rearticulated here. It's quite lovely. |
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