|
Post by bluebird on Jul 23, 2024 11:43:31 GMT -5
As I re-read what I submitted for this week, (which I've left attached at the end) I realized that it isn't really a poem. It's a "report. It doesn't leave any place for the reader to "drop in" really. Too much of what I write is like this: so, I am going to try to do a version that is less descriptive and historic and more suggestive.
Here goes:
Chernobyl Aftermath at Pripyat
A piece of a favorite dinner plate is glued to a kitchen wall. The wife is nursing her newborn. The husband, drunk by noon on Vodka tells her why he is in no shape to go outside to pick contaminated lettuce for their dinner salade.
The news worldwide was like a cat with its tail caught in a door when the favorite dinner plate was broken; nuclear energy had clawed its way out of such a door left ajar.
The baby nursed was the last one to not be deformed because the mother swallowed too much sun. The father and his parents all developed scabs and could not stand the itch or resist the need to scratch them.
the neighbors baby was born without hands. Well, she had them but they extended from her shoulders like wings with extraordinarily long fingers that were more like claws.
The tantrum of the Chernobyl Nuclear Reactor reacted to a chance of freedom like the tiger that escaped the magic show of those two famous magicians with Russian sounding names and then mauled, almost to death, one of them.
Nevertheless, it was a circus-like event, the explosion at Chernobyl. Luminous fish flew like exotic birds into the sky and as it began to rain purple all the birch trees turned silver.
Though it was the middle of the day, the sky turned into a radiant eye of some amoral being, and a large part of the world was pulled into it, into it's mesmerizing gleam like thread through the eye of a needle pulled into a tapestry made of souls that, those watching, could only hope was a work of art hung in some other dimension.
KAH
Note: this is a playful rough draft of letting go trying to control a poem instead of going where it might have the energy and will to go on its own. this is a response to one of the notes posted by Gerry on the forum site during this workshop.
KAH
Chernobyl Aftermath
Peasants, with nowhere else to go, kept fastened to their land and shacks, clutched shards of dishes to their hearts. Women made stews from contaminated vegetables growing in disheveled gardens. The men, most of them, stayed drunk. Women opened their legs, grew babies inside themselves.
Pripyat was 99% contaminated by radiation, reported the channels of World News. Survivors would suffer bone weakness, boils, skin lesions, jaundice and/or cancer. These predictions were not hysterical, they were based on scientific facts.
Survivors who were children then, had later, children of their own. Most if not all of that blighted generation were brain damaged and/or grievously deformed.
There was sorrow, but no guilt. The old who managed to stay alive described the sound and sight of Chernobyl's nuclear explosion as a miraculous vision!
Streams of winged beings and pods of luminous fish, sailed past the moon and stars, past even, probably, the old god of the Sun-- all of them swept into a cobalt cosmos towards the face of an, as yet, unmet God.
In deep space, what disappeared was, perhaps, absorbed by the radiant eye of an amoral being; pulled through its mesmerizing gleam like a thread through a needle; into a tapestry made of souls that by some feat we do not comprehend, hangs in some unfathomable dimension.
Karen Heyman
p.s. my niece (by marriage) worked in Belarus for 5 years with radiated and deformed children. She had to leave due to excessive radiation to her own body.
Streams of winged beings
Note: my nephew was married to a woman who was a therapist for children who were grievously deformed by the Chernobyl malfunction. She was required to retire from that after 5 years due to the radiation still active in the environment.
|
|
|
Post by denise on Jul 24, 2024 17:55:43 GMT -5
Karen -- you always have the best stories to tell! Whenever I read poems, I always want to know what inspired the poet and, of course, usually we don't have a chance to know that. Thank you for being so generous with your details, which added immeasurably to the enjoyment for me. As I mentioned today, I do like the style of this version in which you gave us so many colorful images. I do like the possibility of the poem ending on the "...all the birch trees turned silver" line. Would truly love to see another version of this should you decide to revise and share it. Hope to see you in workshop again soon.
Best. Denise
|
|
|
Post by Gerry on Jul 25, 2024 11:02:05 GMT -5
Karen, I think the poem gets in trouble when you try to find metaphors for what happened in the plant. Nuclear energy was not a cat clawing out of a door. Metaphor works when we can make the leap. I kept thinking of how an overheated fission reaction was like a cat--it didn't work. Maybe mention the men who had left it unattended? But even that. The poem might be better if you keep the focus on the people in the aftermath and not try to focus on what happened--we all know what happened anyway... Still the bulk of the poem is working great. End on the stunning and beautiful image of those birches. Attachments:Karen Chernobyl.pdf (529.97 KB)
|
|
|
Post by bluebird on Jul 26, 2024 17:54:14 GMT -5
Hey Gerry, before I read the attachments: thanks for both liking the line about a cat getting it's tail caught in a closing door...but of course, this was NOT that...this was something escaping from a door left open...maybe I can use the cat's tail caught in a door in some other poem....so, now I am thinking about what can happen when doors are left open...when a match is struck to lit a gas stove while someone in the house is using solvent to loosen glue on old linoleum .... that's not a very "poetic image" but it is a truthful one....and more accurate re Chernobyl. what actually happened, so far as i know, is that Russian Scientists were "experimenting" to find out how close to setting off a nuclear chain reaction they could come without actually doing so....a mixture I suppose of hubris and the kind of stupidity a kid trys to race across a bridge on a bike while a train is sounding all its bells and whistles behind him.....
but, I have to say here, that I would much rather have created/invented a poem like the one Shelly posted by Ferlinghetti....that's the way I wish I could think ... so charming, so clever that it stops you in your tracks and makes you think seriously about something while at the same time, laughing.
If I've learned anything this session it is this: A child learns to speak by imitating others. A poet learns (and I'm guessing here since I'm a novice) to speak by throwing sand it's shoveled into a kiddie bucket back into the sea and then begging someone to retrieve it. Loss is a great teacher.
|
|